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Quotes from Pilot

Pilot

'Pilot' - Season 1, Episode 1

Cory is given detention for listening to a baseball game during Mr. Feeny's lesson about Romeo & Juliet. Mr. Feeny attempts to teach Cory about the value of love, but Cory struggles to see the positive side of love when Eric takes a girl to the baseball game instead of him.

Air Date: September 24, 1993.

Quote from Cory

Mr. Feeny: A candy bar. Doesn't your mother feed you a proper breakfast?
Cory: Oh, yeah, she does. Now I gotta get the taste of this Shredded Wheat out of my mouth.

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny: How blissful it must be for you to have lived so little and yet already reached your conclusions about the greatest wonder of the universe.

Quote from Cory

Amy: Okay, mister. Drop my son's underwear.
Cory: Mom, it's me.
Amy: How do I know it's you?
Cory: Who else would want my underwear?

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny: Mr. Matthews, I spend thirty-five to forty-five hours a week dealing with the perceived problems of whiny little people like yourself. Now this is my lunch period. My respite from the fray. I spend four hours with you every morning and three hours with you every afternoon. Now, for God's sake, get out of my face.

Quote from Cory

Mr. Feeny: The tragedy here, Mr. Matthews, is not about a dumb girl or the boy who kills himself because of her. It's about the all consuming power of love and the inevitability of its influence on each of our lives.
Cory: Are you aware that I'm only eleven years old?

Quote from Cory

Mr. Feeny: You know you're not doing your body any favors by loading up on junk like that.
Cory: Oh, thanks, Mr. Feeny. And please enjoy that high vitamin, astronaut drink you're sucking down.

Quote from Cory

Cory: I dumped my family and my family dumped me. It was mutual. They're keeping the house.

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny: Well, you shrewd little observer of the human condition.

Quote from Cory

Cory: Mom, you were always very cordial to me when I lived here.

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny: There is no greater aspiration than to have love in our lives, Mr. Matthews. Romeo knew it and died for it. Others know it and prepare salads. And those that don't know it will sit in detention for the rest of their lives.

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny: Shakespeare wrote plays and sonnets. The Greeks wrote tragedies and comedies. Robert Burns, Emily Dickinson, the Brownings, examined the depths of human emotions. And do you know what each one of these poets, playwrights and philosophers had in common, Mr. Matthews?
Cory: They all took your class?
Mr. Feeny: Every one of them was older than eleven.

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny: It's supposed to stink, Mr. Matthews, it's detention. You're being detained from whatever it is you'd rather be doing.

Quote from Cory

Cory: Morgan, I'm eleven years old. I don't get scared. And even if I did get scared and had to defend myself, my weapon of choice would not be a chick with a plastic head.

Quote from Morgan

Morgan: Do you want me and Debbie to go to the baseball game with you?
Cory: Hey, go to the game with my little sister and her doll. Great! Maybe during the seventh inning stretch I could run through the stadium in my old Spiderman underwear?
Morgan: Well you don't have to dress up for me.

Quote from Morgan

Cory: I'm a kid. I don't even understand the emotional content of Full House.
Morgan: I do!

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny: There's no gravity in space, Mr. Matthews. Therefore, astronauts suck up. Learn from them.

Quote from Cory

Shawn: He's a teacher man. Keep ragging on him, he's gonna make your whole six grade year miserable.
Cory: I'm gonna be miserable anyhow. At least this way I'm taking him with me.

Quote from Cory

Cory: Well I think it's a cruel and unusual life-sucking torture.
Mr. Feeny: You've captured the essence.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Oh, good. I caught you home. House warming gift: chocolate pie with a side of barbecue chicken and corn on the cob. Now, I would have bought you a plant but, hey, you're in a tree.

Quote from Cory

Cory: I can handle Feeny. Feeny loves me.
Shawn: Feeny hates you.
Cory: Well, it's one of the two.

Quote from Cory

Cory: I wanna move.
Alan: Why did you get detention?
Cory: You know, you're missing the bigger issue, dad. You bought a house next to my teacher. I wanna move. I wanna move now. Get the guy with the gold jacket, I'll be in the car.

Quote from Cory

Cory: You're not going to the game? That's terrible.
Eric: Actually, Cory, it gets worse.
Cory: She's going to the game with us?
Eric: You're really close.
Cory: She and I are going to the game?

Quote from Cory

Cory: But I earned those tickets. I slept with him for eleven years!

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny: Are you aware that you have detention Friday afternoon?
Cory: No, actually I did not know that.

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