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Quotes from Grandma was a Rolling Stone

Grandma was a Rolling Stone

'Grandma was a Rolling Stone' - Season 1, Episode 7

Cory's grandmother rolls into to town and promises to take him to get his new baseball card signed, but Cory is disappointed when she doesn't show up. Meanwhile, Mr. Feeny's niece is in town and Eric tries to impress her, and Alan takes Shawn on a fishing trip.

Air Date: November 12, 1993.

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Bernice Matthews: Who is this guy?
Cory: My teacher.
Bernice Matthews: Does he give you straight As?
Cory: No.
Bernice Matthews: And why not?
Mr. Feeny: Have you talked to the boy?

Quote from Eric

Eric: It's Feeny's niece. She's unbelievable. I've got to think. I've got to think. I've got to take her to a world she's never been to before. Dinner. Movie. Movie. Dinner. This has to be perfectly orchestrated or -- Weasel!

Quote from Eric

Eric: Told her we could maybe take a drive when I get my license. She laughed, but it was a flirty laugh.

Quote from Alan

Alan: Your brother's discovered girls, he can't sit still. When you're Eric's age and you can't sit still, I'll take Morgan. It's the endless cycle of fishing.
Cory: And what about after Morgan?
Alan: Well then I'll just be some guy in a fishing hat with a lot of boring stories.

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Bernice Matthews: Okay, teacher, you better kiss the rest of those mums goodbye.
Mr. Feeny: Who is that woman?
Cory: My grandma. Don't you just love her?
Mr. Feeny: No, I don't.

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny: Excuse me, I will not be jerked around.
Bernice Matthews: Oh. Well, excuse me, but as the matriarch of this family, not to mention a card-carrying member of the Kiwanis club, I can personally vouch for the fact that this fine young man has been up in his room for the past twenty minutes.
Mr. Feeny: And excuse me, Ms. Kiwanis, but how could you know that? When I just saw you pull in your Winnebago and run over my mums not forty seconds ago.

Quote from Alan

Mr. Feeny: Alan, I would appreciate you keep your son and his hormones inside the house, at least until my niece leaves.
Alan: Why George, what are you talking about? Eric's been up in his room for -
Eric: twenty -
Alan: minutes.

Quote from Morgan

Eric: Okay, Weasel, do you remember what we've been practising?
Morgan: This is my brother, Eric. He's very shy.

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny: A wonderfully rich tapestry of human experience.
Eric: Don't mock what I am, Mr.Feeny.

Quote from Eric

Eric: Yes, you see dinner and a movie is the premiere form of dating entertainment. Dinner, movie. Movie, dinner. Dinner, dinner. Movie, movie.

Quote from Eric

Eric: You know, some guys use a golden retriever, I figured why not use the weasel right here?

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Cory: Manipulating young and impressionable minds. I hope you're proud of yourself, Mr. Feeny.
Mr. Feeny: Indeed I am, Mr. Matthews.

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Alan: Hey guys, collecting snails?
Cory: Yeah, Mr. Feeny said we can take them off his flowers and use them for bait when we all go fishing Sunday.
Alan: Fish don't eat snails!
Mr. Feeny: Gee, I guess I was mistaken.

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny: Ha, looks like your parrot has learned a few new words.

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Eric: Mr. Feeny, you dating a teenage girl?
Mr. Feeny: Not since the Eisenhower administration.

Quote from Alan

Alan: I'm hungry. Shawn ate everything on the boat except the worms.
Cory: He usually likes those.

Quote from Shawn

Shawn: Grow up, I wasn't stealing your father.
Alan: Good night, Shawn.
Shawn: Good night, dad!

Quote from Eric

Eric: How long have you been up there?
Cory: Long enough to watch you swap spit with a Feeny.

Quote from Mr. Feeny

Mr. Feeny: I think the polite thing to do would be to extend an invitation for me to join you.
Eric: Mr. Feeny, would you like to come to the carnival with us?
Mr. Feeny: Oh, thank you so very much for asking, but no. I'd rather have gum surgery.

Quote from Eric

Eric: It's my experience that if they can't find a senior with a car, they'll settle for some gullible e who's willing to empty his pockets on a dinner he can't really afford, a movie he doesn't want to see, and a door slammed in his face.
Mr. Feeny: Somewhere in that brimming cup of bile I heard dinner and a movie?

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