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Quotes from Wheels

Wheels

'Wheels' - Season 4, Episode 14

It's Cory's sixteenth birthday and after passing his driver's exam, Cory wants to head out on the open road with his friends, but Alan has a hard time letting his soon go.

Air Date: January 17, 1997.

Quote from Cory

Cory: Here, put these on.
Morgan: I don't want to wear boxing mittens. I don't know how they work.
Cory: They're not boxing mittens, they're boxing gloves. And they don't work, you just hit me!

Quote from Cory

Cory: It's my sword and I'm not sharing it.

Judge: I hereby sentence you to, uh, two years.
Cory: What?
Judge: Today is your sixteenth birthday. That means you have two years more of being a kid. Now I know that seems like hard labor when you have a license in your hand, but from what I can surmise of your home life, you're luckier, Cory, than most who appear before me.
And you, dad, I sentence you to take those two years and cherish them, because they go by too fast.
Alan: Yes, they do, don't they?
Judge: Mmm. It's a speed trap.

Quote from Cory

Cory: Dad, come on, I'm 16. I'm not a little kid anymore.
Waitress: Here's your clown burger. I told them it was your birthday, so they threw in an extra hat.
Cory: Whoo-hoo! I mean, (less emphatic) whoo-hoo.

Quote from Cory

Morgan: Fine. I'm glad you're happy. I have to change into my party dress for your party.
Cory: No dress. Wear pants. Keep the helmet on. And call a doctor.

Quote from Eric

Cory: 'Cause he likes you better.
Eric: Yup, he does, he does. Well, that, and he still had you around.
Cory: Well, he's got Morgan.
Eric: Girl.
Cory: What?
Eric: You're his last son, son. Now you're old enough to drive away and leave him alone with Morgan, who goes to-
Cory: Art class.

Quote from Eric

Cory: Listen, did Dad still treat you like you were six?
Eric: No. He weirded out a little bit on me because, you know, I got my license and made him feel old, and he went out and bought a cemetery plot and everything, but I bet you it's not nearly as bad as he's treating you.

Quote from Eric

Cory: Eric, when you were 16-
Eric: Yeah, I had the same great hair.

Quote from Cory

Morgan: I'm Cory. I'm 16, and I'm going to Atlantic City to see an R-rated movie. *Laughs*
Cory: Uh, here, Morgan, let me help you make the matinee. *Pushes Morgan's toy car*

Quote from Cory

Cory: Because tomorrow I got wheels. I am free and independent. Tomorrow I am a man!
Waitress: Who gets a clown burger?
Cory: (raises hand) I collect the little hats.

Quote from Topanga

Topanga: I'm not going with you guys to some R-rated movie.
Cory: Uh, Van Damme takes his shirt off.
Topanga: Auhooga!

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